isn't it ironic

meeting with the bear was a slam dunk.  according to him and the tumor board, there is no question regarding moving forward with radiation.

full steam ahead. 

he asked who would you like to see?  i said how should i know? (if anyone should know i'm a rookie, you'd think it'd be him.) 

he said i'm setting you up with dr. arthur, he'll be your radiation oncologist. i said ok fine.

i asked him what kind of radiation do you think it will be?  

he said that's what dr. arthur will decide.

more waiting.  

he said when you're done with the radiation, you'll come back and see me.  in the meantime, i want you to read over this information on tamoxifen, bc we're going to want you to take that when the radiation is over.  your cancer is highly estrogen receptor positive.

i knew this already, he was just reminding me.  

anyway, all of this was pretty good news.  

does that sound weird?

well it was.  in a way.

when we left, the godfather asked, wanna go to lunch?  i said sure.

he said where do you want to go?  i said how should i know?

(i'm tired of all these decisions.)

   

he said wanna go celebrate at the jefferson?  i said no thanks. it didn't totally feel like a celebration to me.

(but with mastectomy off the table, i think it could have to him.....)

  

he said millie's?  i said no.  i love millie's, but it seemed like too much.  settee?  this is fire oven pizza, which i love also, but said no to that too. mexican? no thanks.

 then he said 5 guys?  i said a burger?  sure, let's go. i couldn't remember the last time i'd had one.

this was mid day, it took forever with the detours downtown.

he pointed out the federal courthouse.  this is what godfathers do.  

i hope i never have to go there. massey is enough.

 i said if you ever have to go there, you're on your own.  he said whatever.

anyway, 5 guys was fun.  there are ways i can be a very cheap date.  the godfather is lucky i'm not into mansions or private jets.

(feel free to remind him of this if you see him.)

my appetite seemed to kick in after that thumbs up from the bear.  i said i can't believe how good this burger is.  he said i know. i said seriously.  i think i could eat a burger like this everyday for a year.

i'd already forgotten about let's make a deal, deviant monty, and getting hit by a bus. in my mind, that was old news by now.

 dr. bear's laser focus re treatment helped more than i realized. but that's how top guns operate.

after we finished, we walked outside, the sunlit air felt clear and good. there was traffic coming and going, my truck was parked on the other side of broad street.  i had on my sunglasses and fur vest, standard mafia attire.

i stepped off the sidewalk, and immediately the godfather pulled me back, his hand grabbing the fur.  

a city bus was coming.

*wtf*

i said god.  that's crazy.  did you see that bus?  how crazy that would be, getting hit by a bus right now.

he said yeah. that'd be pretty ironic.

like rain on your wedding day, as alanis says.

it rained on ours.

and here we are.

xx katy