felony dodged

as the end of treatment draws near, i've been thinking a lot about what's next.

besides the 5 years of tamoxifen.

i anticipated the 6 month rotation, rather than the 12 month appointments 'healthy' people get.

see you in a year, is what those folks get to hear.

i didn't anticipate the every 3 month jive.

have you ever been convicted of a felony?

i haven't.

but once you're considered a felon, that's it.  

a felon you will always be.

it is a matter of record.

and if you apply for a job, you have to put it in writing, yes.

i'm a felon.

same with a cancer diagnosis, it's part of your history.

a matter of record.

the other day, after radiation, but before seeing cal, the radiation oncologist, i saw mila, cal's nurse.

she said i'll need to see you next week, on your last day of treatment so i can give you your 'walking papers.'

huh?

i'm not a felon, remember?  

she said we'll need to set you up with your parole officers.

ooops.

oncologists.

you'll see dr. arthur every six months.

(radiation oncologist)

and dr. bear every six months.

(surgical oncologist)

but we will stagger the appointments so you are being seen every three months.

i said for how long?

she said it depends.

(on what?)

i said wait.

is this a big deal or not?

she didn't answer.

so i asked another question.

(surprise)

i said, if i hadn't come in for my routine mammo this year, and this is the first year ever i'd been tempted to blow it off, if i came in next year, would it have been invasive?

and she said very likely yes.

bullet dodged.

she said yours was caught early, so it had no chance to invade.

we believe all cancers start at that stage.

not all cancers progress.

but they all start at that stage.

why give those nasty cells a chance to rob a bank?

that only means more time in the pen.

isn't a misdemeanor better than a felony?

yes.

i think so.

xx katy