Thursday, February 14, 2013


early on, before the cancer diagnosis was officially rendered, there were tests and biopsies of all kinds.  

one led to another.  then another.  

and so on.

it was a way of ruling out, and narrowing down.  

i get it.  

that's not hard to understand.

it was always a matter of waiting.  some findings were benign.  some were not.

we knew this already.

but one test on a thursday, resulted in another test needing to be done on a saturday.

a saturday?  


that kind of surprised us too.

on that saturday morning, in the waiting room, we saw the same guy we'd seen waiting on thursday.

the godfather said, we meet again.

that guy said, so it appears.

after the test, which took much longer than we anticipated, the radiologist came out and told us we'd have the results on tuesday afternoon.

the godfather had some legit business offshore in the cayman islands.

we were leaving on tuesday morning.

i'm saying legit here again.

even though it may not sound like it, it was.

we asked the dr. if we should stick around, or would it be ok to go as planned?

he said go.  we can call you there.  you'll have your cell phone, right?  

we said yes.  (duh)

anyway, how trippy, arriving on the beach. wondering about a call like that coming in.

the godfather asked,  do you want to go for a walk?

i said i don't know.  how do we know if the phone will ring down the beach?

he said well.  if it's going to ring here, it should ring there.

this made sense.

simple logic rules.

we walked as far as we could, then the godfather said let's sit down.  we can have a pina colada.

i said i don't know.

he said why not? 

i said what if it's bad news?

he said all the more reason!

i said ok.

his was virgin.  mine was not.

the phone rang.

i said this is it.

he said ok.

i said hello?

the voice was not the doctor's, which in retrospect, is a high sign, in my experience. if it's not the doctor calling, it's usually good news.  you're off of that particular hook.

you might think of it as a bullet dodged.  

she said this is so and so.  the results of your biopsies on saturday are b9.

i gave the godfather thumbs up.

but i asked her again, just to be sure.

i said are you sure?

she said yes.

when i hung up, the godfather had tears in his eyes.

i said are you crying?

he said a little bit.

he can never just come out and say yes.  if he is.

this is how godfather's are i suppose.

he said i'm just so happy.  i prayed i would get sick and not you.

i said you can't do that.  

he said yes i can.  our girls need you more than they need me.

i said that's bullshit.  how can you say that?

he said bc you're their mother.  if i die, at least i know they're set, i've done everything i can.

i said bullshit again.

how are we supposed to know where the ca$h is buried?

oddly, the very next evening, we found ourselves in a very small hospital in the cayman islands.

long story short, the godfather's fingers on his left hand were blue.

he is fine, thank goodness, but we didn't know that at the time.

still oddly, when i was trying to convince him to go to the hospital, somehow i felt it was my fault, that if he should die,  it was bc his prayer for me had been answered, bc those saturday results were benign.

i said i'm sorry.

then i said wait.  that's bullshit.

this is not my fault!!

and it wasn't.  


but i did ask the godfather, in the midst of it, regarding my argument for getting him to the hospital, how am i supposed to get a body back from the caymans?

he said oh, you could call so and so, or so and so.  they'd take care of things for you.

thus, photo above.  that's what came to mind.

xx katy


  1. Wow - you are gifted at telling your story, Katy. Great post.

  2. Very cool way to weave a tale. Wondering how did the godfather's fingers get blue at the beach -- shark? -- or maybe loan shark? (mob humor) :-)

  3. Not sure where to put this link -- this commercial makes me laugh -- make me think of how you & the Godfather are when showing up at an appointment? LOL

    Hey -- I bet there is a way we can hyperlink the links on this blog so that they're clickable?

    -Lil P.


About Me

My photo
virginia, United States