mike tv

on thursday we meet with the radiation oncologist.  

who is different from the surgical oncologist.

who is different from the nurse navigator.

who is different from the mammo tech.

who differs still from the diagnostic mammo tech.

who we were sent to via our obgyn

which resulted in a 'sit down' with a radiologist.

who ultimately led to a real sit down with a tumor board.

whew.

anyway.

thursday is the day.

i'm feeling a bit like mike tv in willy wonka's factory.

regarding radiation, i have the feeling that it will be a really sci fi kind of strange new world.

it's not like i imagine flying cars, or talking robots,

but how do i know?

radiation is weird science to me.

how can a beam, radiating a target (my right breast) kill cancer cells?

who knows?

but i'll find out!

what i do know, is that the radiation kills the cancer cells, not bc of any particular intelligence,  bc it's not like it's 'human.'

duh.  we know this.

radiation kills all the cells.

the healthy ones.  and the cancer cells too.

as i understand it, it works like this -

everyday for 33 days (minus weekends), you get to be mike tv in willy wonka's factory, you lay on a sci fi table, and a sic fi machine is aimed at your breast. 

 the beams fire.

boom. the cells die.

but!

the healthy cells rejuvenate!

the cancer cells do not.

f*ck you cancer cells.

take that.

(do you think i'll need to wear goggles?)

come on healthy cells.

get back up.  

you have a job to do!

so they do.

again.

and again.

for 33 days.

if i were a healthy cell in my breast, i'd be tired too.

this is the nature of the radiation beast.

this is where the 'radiation fatigue' comes from.

the body gets tired after a while, doing all that rebuilding.

i would, wouldn't you?

and yet, i live in my body.

god.  that's obvious.

so.  there it is again. the bitter and sweet.

take that cancer cells.

come on healthy cells.  you can do it.

put your back into it.

that's the plan anyway.

since i'm going to the 'factory', i'm hoping there will be chocolate involved.

hint to the godfather....(someone please tell him i'm not fond of godiva.)

xx katy